Marriage, Divorce & Remarriage EVIL?
This is a personal subject to me. I grew up in a Christian church until one day when I had been treated like trash one time too many. I went to other churches within the same denomination for a while until YHWH ‘called me out of her’. This subject was important to me because this organization misused and still misuses scripture and as a result people are mistreated and hurt (which is probably a good thing to keep their attendance small).
I was what they consider, “in a double marriage” meaning my husband had been married once before me and she is still alive. Therefore I was to divorce my husband (the father of ALL my children) and encourage him to go back to his ex wife (that was also remarried). I was harassed because they wanted my talents in their church but didn’t want me to be apart of them as long as I was a sinner. (by their terms of course). Unless I divorced and destroyed my children, I could not be a member (not that I even wanted to be). Not being a member meant God couldn’t use me in service. But the preacher had no problem lining his pockets with my 10% plus freewill offerings, which is a different post all together concerning the truth in tithing for today and what it really means. This pain I felt made this subject very real to me. I left that church after only growing up in it and being related to most of the local members and I have NEVER looked back. I started searching for truth in this area. I needed peace because I was tormented by the scares that were put in me by my own family. This is what I found.
Marriage
Genesis 2:18
And YHWH Elohim said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Genesis 2:21-24
And YHWH Elohim caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib, which YHWH Elohim had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Proverbs 18:22
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of YHWH.
According to these passages in scripture, marriage is a good thing. It was from the beginning ordained and blessed by YHWH.
Since we clearly can understand that this is good in YHWH’s eyes would not it then be safe to say that divorce would be wrong? That is what churches teach that Malachi was inspired to write:
“For I hate divorce, says YHWH, the Elohim of Israel.” Malachi 2:16
Isn’t that what it says? No it doesn’t! I am not saying that divorce is a good thing or a bad thing. I am sure that YHWH does in some cases hate divorce. Divorce is usually a negative action that hurts all those involved. Divorce leaves its marks on generations that follow especially if children are involved. It leaves emotional scars and sometimes leads to murder or even suicide. But before we can know when and if YHWH hates it or if it is wrong, we first have to know the truth in what is actually being said and not man made doctrines and beliefs dragging and pulling us down.
Deuteronomy 24:1
When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
According to YHWH, divorce was an option, but for what a reason was it allowed?
1. She finds no favor in his eyes
2. He hath found some uncleanness in her.
When we enter into the New Testament era, preachers will say that Yeshua (Jesus) changed the law on divorce. Whereas Moses wrote that a man could divorce his wife for any just cause, in the scriptures JC appears to limit divorce to only cases of adultery. Although many Christians have taken this position on divorce, I doubt whether they really understand what doing so implies. If their theology is correct, then Yeshua would have been a sinner, or at the very least promoting sin. In order for Yeshua to have been our perfect sinless sacrifice He had to fully keep and accurately teach the Old Covenant Law. The Apostle John declared, “Everyone who practices sin also practices lawlessness; and sin is lawlessness.” (1 John 3:4). Thus, had Yeshua broken or changed the law, He would have been guilty of sin and thus could not have been our Savior.
Even if Yeshua had changed YHWH’s moral law under the New Covenant dispensation, as some Christians dispensationalist claim, His dissertations on divorce in the scriptures were given during the Old Covenant dispensation. Additionally, Yeshua Himself declared, “…Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.” (Matthew 5:18).
Whatever the law on divorce was in Deuteronomy 24, not the smallest letter or stroke of it was changed by Yeshua. Therefore, we can safely conclude that something is wrong with the theology usually advanced regarding divorce.
The erroneous interpretation of Yeshua’s instructions can be traced to two modern mistakes.
1. This error is first made because most of today’s preachers and commentators believe that YHWH’s Old Covenant laws have been abolished and replaced, thus they seldom consult them.
2. Secondly, mistaken conclusions on this subject are derived from translation errors in most modern English versions of the Bible.
One mistake I have often seen in my personal life is preachers following their organization rather than God himself.
Divorce & Remarriage
Let us begin by going back to YHWH’s law concerning divorce. In Deuteronomy 24 we find that the divorce process can be broken down into three parts:
Deut 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
1. The husband must write out a certificate of divorce
2. He must deliver it himself to his wife
3. He must then send her away.
It takes all three in order for the divorce to be lawful, and to be recognized by YHWH. A husband was not allowed to simply send his wife out into the streets. He was to formally divorce her through the ordained process. She was to be given a certificate of divorce, that is, a breaking of the lawful contract of marriage with a lawful contract of divorce. In other words, she was to be provided with proof that she was a lawfully divorced woman.
This is more serious than probably it first appears. Without this lawful document, and if a woman was to “remarry” or attach herself to another man, she and the one whom she “remarried” would have been considered adulterers, and that was a stoning offense!
In this light, the writ of divorcement was intended to be a letter of protection for the woman, more than a letter of permission for the man.
Also I must add it is an abomination to go back to your first spouse in many cases just as it would have been for YHWH to return to Israel after divorcing her had he not died releasing her from the contract of marriage.
Deu 24:4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before YHWH: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which YHWH thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.
So it is safe to say that previous harassment from the church I went to was wrong on their part and they were in fact telling me to allow my husband to go back to a previous wife and commit an abomination to YHWH.
“Divorce” & “Put Away”
In addition, the two terms “divorce” and “sends her out” (also translated as “put away” and “send away”) should also be considered. It is extremely important to understand that nowhere in the Scriptures are these two terms used interchangeably. The Hebrew word for “divorce” in Deuteronomy 24:1 is found in only two other locations: Isaiah 50:1, describing Yahweh’s future divorce of the House of Judah, and Jeremiah 3:8, regarding Yahweh’s previous divorce of the House of Israel.
Deuteronomy 24, Isaiah 50 and Jeremiah 3 are the only three instances where the Hebrew word for “divorce” can be found in the Old Testament. That is right; this is not the word used in Malachi 2:16 as would be expected if God were saying that He hated divorce in that passage.
The Hebrew word translated “divorce” is a very specific term, and in all three instances it is used in conjunction with the term “bill,” “writ,” or “certificate.” On the other hand the Hebrew word translated “sent out” or “put away” is a very common term and is used nearly a thousand times in the Old Testament. (Malachi 2) There is no interchangeability between these two Hebrew words. One could not be divorced without being put away. However, one could be put away without being divorced. It is this latter condition that was addressed by the Prophet Malachi:
Malachi 2:13-14
And this have ye done again, covering the altar of YHWH with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he (YHWH) no longer regards the offering any more, or receives it with good will at your hand.
Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because YHWH hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
Note that the women spoken of in this situation were still considered as being wives by covenant or contract with their husbands, that is, they had never been lawfully divorced.
Malachi 2:15-16
…….Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
For YHWH, the Elohim of Israel, saith that he hates divorce: for one covers violence with his garment, saith YHWH of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
Is that how YHWH intended this verse to be translated? No it is not. Had He intended this, He would have inspired Malachi to use the same Hebrew word translated as “divorce” in the twenty-fourth chapter of Deuteronomy. Instead, He inspired Malachi to use the same Hebrew word translated as “sends her out” or “put away” in Deuteronomy 24.
The King James Version translated Malachi 2:16 correctly:
For YHWH, the Elohim of Israel saith that He hates [the] putting away….
In other words, the treachery committed by these men was not in divorcing their wives, but rather in that they were putting their wives away without a certificate of divorce. In their vindictiveness, they were putting their wives in a horrible no win predicament. If the wives had “remarried” or had attached themselves to another man, they would have been subject to stoning for adultery since without a certificate of divorce they were still lawfully married to their first husband. If they would not commit adultery then these women were left to fend for themselves, which was nearly impossible under the conditions of that time.
Consequently, one can perceive the treachery in what these men were doing, and consequently understand why God would hate it. You can also visualize the hardness of some men’s hearts and then understand why Yahweh would provide for divorce (Mark 10:2-5). On the other hand, if divorce itself is treachery then even God promoted it by allowing for it and even making provisions for it in Deuteronomy 24. Additionally, God would be guilty of treachery Himself since He divorced His wife, Israel.
New Testament Divorce & Remarriage
Much has been misunderstood about this subject, resulting in many individuals being injured and carrying unnecessary guilt that was laid upon the backs of those that have been divorced. This has occurred because much of modern Christianity has rejected YHWH’s perfect law and because of the mistranslation of some key words pertaining to this subject.
The same has happened with the New Testament Scriptures. YHWH is not the author of confusion, thus He cannot be blamed for the turmoil over this subject. Rather, man is to be blamed for it. The devastation of divorce is undeniable, however under certain conditions both divorce and remarriage were permitted according to YHWH’s Law as provided to us in Deuteronomy 24:1-4. Taking then what we have already learned from the Old Testament let us now see if we can not make sense of Yeshua’s statements in the New Testament on this important subject.
The two Hebrew words translated “divorce” and “sent out” or “put away” in Deuteronomy 24 mean two different things and are not interchangeable. The same is true with the corresponding New Testament Greek words. The Greek word for “put away” is apoluo, whereas the Greek word for “divorce” is apostasion. With this knowledge, let us examine Yeshua’s instructions on divorce and remarriage in Matthew 5:
Matthew 5:31-32
It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery.
Yeshua was simply quoting Deuteronomy 24:1, which declares that it is not permissible for someone to put away his wife without giving her a certificate of divorce. Verse 32 in the King James Version continues:
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away [apoluo] his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery; and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced [apoluo] commit adultery. (Matthew 5:32-33 KJV)
Had the King James translators rendered the last apoluo as “put away” it would have been perfect. If God had wanted this last phrase to have read “whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery,” He would have inspired Matthew to have used the word apostasion. Instead it should have been rendered, “whosoever shall marry her that is put away commits adultery.”
If, in verses 32 and 33, Yeshua had said what the King James’ translators wrote, Yeshua would have been guilty of heresy for having changed YHWH’s Law. Earlier in Matthew 5, Yeshua Himself declared:
Think not that I [Yeshua] am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill. …Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven…. (Matthew 5:17-19)
Are we to believe that Yeshua is “least in the kingdom of heaven”? We have no choice but to admit that He is if the translators of the King James versions are correct.
The first phrase of verse 32 in the New American Standard reads: “…everyone who divorces his wife, except for the cause of unchastity, makes her commit adultery….” In YHWH’s law (Deuteronomy 24:1-4) divorce is not limited to just cases of unchastity. If the New American Standard is correct then Yeshua is at variance with Yahweh’s morality as communicated to us in His laws.
In the latter part of verse 32, both the New American Standard and King James translators have Yeshua declaring that “whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Yet YHWH’s law (Deuteronomy 24:1-4) allowed for a properly divorced woman to remarry. On the other hand, when verse 32 is translated correctly we find that Yeshua is in perfect harmony with the Law of YHWH as one would expect Him to be. He was simply saying that any man who only puts away his wife, that is, without a writ of divorcement (a lawful breaking of the marriage contract with a lawful divorce contract) causes his wife to commit adultery if she “remarries.” And the one who “marries” a woman only put away but not lawfully divorced commits adultery as well since by contract she would still be the wife of another man.
The Exception Clause
With the foregoing understood, someone is sure to inquire, “What about the exception clause in Matthew 5:32?” The New American Standard Bible renders it:
“…except for the cause of unchastity….”
The King James Version renders it much better:
“…saving for the cause of fornication….”
The word “fornication” is translated from the Greek word porneia. What constitutes porneia or fornication? Rather than speculating let us allow the Bible to answer that question for us. Following is a list of acts described by the Greek word “porneia”:
* Incest — 1 Corinthians 5:1
* Harlotry or Prostitution — 1 Corinthians 6:13-18, 10:8
* Forbidden Lineage and/or Interracial Relationships — Hebrews 12:15-16
* Homosexuality — Jude 7
Those four acts of immorality are all identified in the New Testament as being cases of porneia translated as fornication. Although not specifically identified as such in the New Testament there are other immoral acts that should also be viewed as fornication:
* Bestiality — Leviticus 20:15-16
* Remarrying a Divorced Wife a Second Time After She Married Again and was Divorced from Her Second Husband — Deuteronomy 24:1-4
* Marrying an Unlawfully Divorced Woman — Matthew 5:32
The foregoing acts should all be identified as fornication because porneia is simply unlawful sexual relationships. So what do these acts have to do with what Yeshua declared in Matthew 5:31-32?
Yeshua in Concert with Yahweh’s Laws
It must be remembered that in Matthew 5 Yeshua was not condemning divorce, but rather the putting away of a wife without a bill of divorcement. Following is Matthew 5:31-32 as it should have been translated, including what can now be understood as being acts of fornication:
It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away [apoluo] his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement [apostasion]: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away [apoluo] his wife [without a writing of divorcement], saving for the cause of fornication [incest, prostitution, forbidden lineage and/or interracial relationships, homosexuality, etc.], causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is put away [apoluo, without a writing of divorcement] commits adultery. (Matthew 5:31-32)
In other words, a man is not permitted to put away his mate without a certificate of divorce unless it is an incestuous relationship, or one with a prostitute, or a forbidden lineage or interracial relationship, or one with someone of the same sex, or one with an animal, or one with a wife previously divorced and divorced a second time, or one with a woman unlawfully divorced.
Note: I identified these as relationships not marriages since in YHWH’s eyes none of these relationships constitute a lawful marriage. That is why a man could put away these partners without having to provide them with a certificate of divorce. In these cases, a bill of divorcement was not required since (from YHWH’s perspective) there was no lawful marriage contract that required annulment with a divorce certificate. These kinds of relationships only required repentance and the putting away of the unlawful partner. It is lawfully married according to YHWH that matters and not legally married by man’s laws.
In Ezra 10:1-9 YHWH provided us with a Biblical example of such a separation. Nowhere in this passage is a certificate of divorce required for the Israelites to “separate [put away] … their strange wives.” The following passage from the book of Ezra provides us with the reason why a writ of divorcement was unnecessary:
…The people of Israel, and the priests, and the Levites, have not separated themselves from the people of the lands … even of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Jebusites, the Ammonites, the Moabites, the Egyptians, and the Amorites. For they have taken of their daughters for themselves, and for their sons: so that the holy seed have mingled themselves with the people of those lands…. (Ezra 9:1-2)
All of the nations cited in that passage with whom the Israelites had intermingled were descended either from Canaanites, Moabites or Ammonites; all of which were lineages that YHWH had forbid Israel to intermarry. Thus they were unlawful unions, and therefore acts of fornication due to idolatry. Hence, in that particular instance, they were not required to present them with a certificate of divorce. They were only required to repent of their sins and put away their foreign pagan wives. This is the correct interpretation of the exception clause. It validates YHWH’s Law and Yeshua’s confirmation of the same. Anything else puts Yeshua in conflict with the Law and morality of YHWH. Instead of being at variance with YHWH’s Law, Yeshua was simply expounding upon the same. In so doing, He confirmed that Deuteronomy 24:1-4 was the standard for divorce and remarriage except in cases of fornication according to YHWH’s interpretation of fornication and not mans. Scriptures must harmonize and not be pitted against one another. What was in the old is also meant to be in the new. Some of the study above includes information I found in my search for truth and they have been valuable to me in many areas. This study set me free from the bondage I was in concerning the subject. Whom Yeshua sets free is free indeed. I am sure many will not agree with this study however that is between you and YHWH. We will either accept truth and wisdom or reject it.
This is a list of scriptures from the website of the church I attended that they use to base THEIR doctrine on concerning this subject.
Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage Evill (their words not mine)
Matthew 5:32; 19:3-19; 1 Corinthians 7:2; Romans 7:2, 3; 1 Corinthians 5:1-5, 13; 1 Corinthians 6:16-18
You can see a full page of beliefs and scriptures they use for each by visiting their website but be prepared for a can of worms.
UPDATE:
Since I first wrote this they have since updated their site.
Now they have changed this since they now include an exception clause. Apparently their scholars informed them they were biblically wrong so they changed it after decades of judging others by it incorrectly. Sadly, they still have not rightly divided the sum of YHWH’s words and received the whole truth because they believe in the New Testament principle of Word and Spirit according to Acts which isn’t the written words of YHWH nor Yeshua. Sad………
This is now the scripture given and they aren’t calling it an evil any longer. (How considerate of them)
Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage:
Genesis 1:26, 27; 2:18–25; Deuteronomy 6:7; Matthew 5:32; 14:3, 4; 19:3–12; Mark 10:12; Luke 16:18; Romans 7:2, 3; 1 Corinthians 5:1–5, 6:9–18; 7:2, 11; Colossians 3:18–21.
They are all important inspired scriptures yet they haven’t got the whole pictures to capture what YHWH commanded in this subject. I could go point by point but I will let you the reader do that study so you may stand approved unto YHWH for yourself.
